Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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