Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's blow job season.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
