covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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