elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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