He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
