If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
