I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
