I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
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This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
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I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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