If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
