They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
