so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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