Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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