you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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