you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize