The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Randomize
