I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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