i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
