i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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