Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
