Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
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We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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