i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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