The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
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