Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize