That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
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there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
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If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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