i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
