we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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