perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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