Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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