i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
