im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
