he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
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Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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