I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
