i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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