I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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