I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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