Is it because I queefed?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
