Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
