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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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