I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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