I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
