Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize