i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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