I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
