our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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