You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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