why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
His hands were made for my vagina.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
