She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
