In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize