at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
