He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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