About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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