I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
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