Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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