Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
