Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize