he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
