It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
