so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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