David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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