I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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